Parenting Through The Holidays

With the money crunch on every one's mind, I am hearing more frequently that families will be getting together to share the love rather than sharing a big expensive Holiday Season. There is usually a direct proportion between the size of the family gathering and the chaos that is likely to ensue; generally with the children having something to do with it.

Parenting through this can be more than a little daunting. I recommend a few ways to make things go much easier.

• Discuss discipline with the parents who will be bringing children and come up with as close to a standard plan as possible. Discipline is not punishment; but a way to set boundaries that all children need and even desire on some level. Boundaries keep everyone safe. With the NOT PUNISHMENT idea in mind, talk about creative ways to set the limits when they are broken.
• Each parent should discuss how discipline will be handled with their own children attending the Holiday Event.
• Understand that in their own particular way each child will test the boundaries. This is very normal.
• Be consistent in your discipline with the children. Each child will understand the boundaries in their own way. The boundary test will help all the children know that it is safe and the adults are in charge.
• Discipline should be swift and carried out in a way that does not make the party a circus.
• As often as is possible, the child that steeped over a boundary should be disciplined by their own parent. If this is not possible, any adult who knows the rules for discipline can help the child conform to expectations.

Enjoy your holiday knowing that it will not turn out to be like the movie, "Animal House."

James E. de Jarnette, Ph.D., M.A., Ph.D., FAPA