Showing posts with label parenting counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting counseling. Show all posts
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Parental Alienation
More and more I am seeing people who are concerned about parental alienation. In high conflict divorces and separations, it is difficult to continue to support the other parent in the eyes of the child or children. Help is available through my private practice to help parents deal with their own feelings and how to parent in the best interest of the child.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Self-Help For Custody Issues
In being aware of the latest trends in California Family Law Court, more and more people are representing themselves without legal counsel. In response to this trend, the California Courts have a self help website. The area that you may be interested in as far a child custody is http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/custody/ . This site gives good advice. A prolonged high conflict custody fight can easily cost tens of thousands of dollars because of the high cost of legal representation.
I found this site to be helpful for people doing-it-themselves. By reducing overall legal fees, a quality Child Custody Evaluation, counseling about custody issues with a psychotherapist, or going into a private practice mediation can still leave you with money to spend on the best interests of the child(ren).
My post-doctoral training at UCLA and Harvard in mediation and negotiation has been a great aid to people wanting and needing a less costly avenue rather than going to war with the attorneys being your knights fighting on the front lines of a court battle. In this way, you have direct imput and control of how your child will be raised.
Dr. James E. de Jarnette
www.drjim.org
I found this site to be helpful for people doing-it-themselves. By reducing overall legal fees, a quality Child Custody Evaluation, counseling about custody issues with a psychotherapist, or going into a private practice mediation can still leave you with money to spend on the best interests of the child(ren).
My post-doctoral training at UCLA and Harvard in mediation and negotiation has been a great aid to people wanting and needing a less costly avenue rather than going to war with the attorneys being your knights fighting on the front lines of a court battle. In this way, you have direct imput and control of how your child will be raised.
Dr. James E. de Jarnette
www.drjim.org
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Parenting
I have been working hard doing custody evaluations, child abuse counseling and seeing my regular psychotherapy patients. If more people would come for parenting counseling, custody evaluators, like me, would not see so many marital disputes that are train-wrecks for the children of divorcing-separating parents.
Having heard thousands of times, "Children aren't born with direction books attached at the heal, " does no good when the child's psychological, emotional, and physical life is headed down the toilet. "I don't think my child understands what is going on. We keep her out of our difficulties."
Children, especially very young children, are busy soaking up all that they experience, particularly the non-verbal experience with the persons, places, things, and events that are the neurological basis for the very formation of their world over the arc of their lifetimes.
A colleague of mine, Dr. Dan Siegel in his book, The Developing Mind, points out that the new infant's cerebral cortex is formed from the mother's gaze into the child's eyes. This face on face experience has been shown scientifically to effect the child's cortex to the extent that it is a duplicate of the mother's cortex.
This is the beginning of an attachment process that continues full speed ahead over the first 3 years, but continues at a little slower rate over the child's lifetime. About 80% of our communication is non-verbal. Do you really think that the child (and I'm including adolescents) is not effected just because you try to hide your conflicts?
Periodic parenting check-ups are very helpful in the best interest of the child(ren). Couples treatment is an absolute necessity when there appears parental conflict. Here in Los Angeles, 6 out of every 10 marriages will end in divorce, and this statistic is on the rise.
Are you really doing what is the best interest of your child(ren)?
Having heard thousands of times, "Children aren't born with direction books attached at the heal, " does no good when the child's psychological, emotional, and physical life is headed down the toilet. "I don't think my child understands what is going on. We keep her out of our difficulties."
Children, especially very young children, are busy soaking up all that they experience, particularly the non-verbal experience with the persons, places, things, and events that are the neurological basis for the very formation of their world over the arc of their lifetimes.
A colleague of mine, Dr. Dan Siegel in his book, The Developing Mind, points out that the new infant's cerebral cortex is formed from the mother's gaze into the child's eyes. This face on face experience has been shown scientifically to effect the child's cortex to the extent that it is a duplicate of the mother's cortex.
This is the beginning of an attachment process that continues full speed ahead over the first 3 years, but continues at a little slower rate over the child's lifetime. About 80% of our communication is non-verbal. Do you really think that the child (and I'm including adolescents) is not effected just because you try to hide your conflicts?
Periodic parenting check-ups are very helpful in the best interest of the child(ren). Couples treatment is an absolute necessity when there appears parental conflict. Here in Los Angeles, 6 out of every 10 marriages will end in divorce, and this statistic is on the rise.
Are you really doing what is the best interest of your child(ren)?
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